I Just Wanted My Ten Bucks Back
It started like any other Tuesday. I had lunch, scrolled through memes, and decided to lend a friend $10. I didn’t know that ten bucks would catapult me into the morally murky world of accidental loan sharking.
No trench coats. No baseball bats. Just Venmo, poor communication, and one too many “I’ll pay you back tomorrow” texts.
Let’s rewind.
The Borrower: A Friend with Chronic Amnesia
A friend—we’ll call him “Dave” (because that’s his actual name and I’m petty)—asked me to spot him $10 for lunch.
“No big deal,” I said.
He promised to repay me “tomorrow.” That was 287 tomorrows ago.
At first, I let it go. But every time we met, he had a $6 matcha, a $14 sandwich, and the audacity to say, “Man, I’m broke.”
Cue the slow burn.
The Shift: From Bro to Broken
One day, out of sheer sarcasm, I sent him a PayPal request titled: “Loan + 72% Interest + Emotional Damage.”
He laughed. Declined it. Then posted an Instagram story from a fancy brunch.
That’s when I snapped.
I sent another request. This time: $12.50 – “Late Fee Included.”
He paid it.
Just like that… I had profited $2.50. From a loan. With implied pressure.
I had become a loan shark. Accidentally. Casually. Profitably.
What I Learned (Besides Not Trusting Dave)
Here’s the weird part: this whole experience actually taught me a lot about money—and people. Especially:
- People value convenience over fairness
Dave didn’t mind overpaying if it got me off his back. That’s real. - Friendships don’t mix well with IOUs
Lending to friends feels harmless… until it’s not. Then it’s just awkward. - Interest is a slippery slope
The moment you charge it—even as a joke—you’ve entered a very different game. And weirdly… it works. - Clarity kills awkwardness
Had I just said, “Hey man, I need that $10 by Friday,” I wouldn’t have spiraled into satire and sarcasm. - Debt gets weird fast
Even tiny loans create invisible tension. The kind that builds, then bursts—often over brunch.
The Takeaway: Don’t Be Me (Unless You Want to Be Rich in Enemies)
I’m not saying never lend money. I’m saying:
Decide upfront if you’re okay never getting it back.
If not, call it a gift. Or get it in writing. Or don’t lend at all.
But if you do lend it, and the person ghosts you, just know:
It’s perfectly legal to charge 25 cents a day in “psychological rent.” (Kidding… mostly.)
Final Thoughts: From Loan Shark to Life Coach?
Now I just Venmo friends with captions like “Friendship Deposit – Non-refundable” or “Late Fee – Emotional Lateness.”
Do they get annoyed? Yes.
Do I get my money back? Also yes.
Moral of the story: humor is my collection agency. And I am thriving.
FAQ – Because This Will Definitely Happen to You
Q: Should I charge interest to friends?
No. Just set clear boundaries. Or better, don’t lend money you need back.
Q: What’s a polite way to ask for repayment?
Try humor: “Hey, I miss my $10. It was a great bill. Hope it’s doing well.”
Q: Is it ever okay to forgive a loan?
Yes. If the friendship is worth more. But let that be a conscious choice.
